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Honor Your Parents
July 31, 2021

During July we have studied the ten commandments, and the first four commandments reflect our relationship with God. The final six commandments reflect our relationship with other people, and the very first of these final six commandments, the fifth in numerical order reflect our relationship with our parents. Without God and the creation, we would not exist, and without our human parents, we would not exist. All that we have in our life today, wherever we find ourselves in our life, whatever age we may be, stems from our parents. We might look around our life and consider that everything we have, we bought and paid for ourselves, and it was our parents who sacrificed at some time in our life to help us get to where we are today. That’s one of the many reasons why there is a specific commandment to honor our parents, and of the ten commandments, this is the only commandment that is stated along with its benefit, that our days may be long. We might disagree with parents, and as parents we might disagree with other parents, and yet parents generally act with the best interest of their children in mind. In those sad few circumstances where parents do not act in their children’s best interest, there can be some level of honor given because of the very life we have.

Exodus 20:12
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

When teaching Moses and the children of Israel, God linked the commandment to honor our parents to keeping the Sabbaths, both the weekly and annual Sabbath days, and to not make any graven images.

Leviticus 19:1-4
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say unto them, Ye shall be holy: for I the LORD your God am holy. Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the LORD your God. Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I am the LORD your God.

We live in a time where many question the respect given to parents. We also live in a time where the weekly and annual Sabbaths are not generally kept and where people have made God after their image and likeness. There is a connection between society honoring God and society honoring parents. In Exodus, there is a warning given to people who curse their parents.

Exodus 21:17
And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

The Hebrew word for curseth in this verse is qalal, Strong’s Hebrew 7043, meaning to curse, and implies despising and minimalizing. We cannot despise and minimalize our parents in our life. It makes no difference who our parents are or what they might have done to us. We do not despise our parents. We do not minimalize our parents. We find ways to honor our parents, and then we honor our parents. Maybe we grew up in poverty and our parents struggled just to feed the family, or maybe we grew up in fabulous wealth where we think parents focused more on their wealth than their children. We do not minimalize our parents because parents work in the best interest of their children so that their children can have a great life.

Ephesians 6:1-4
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Paul advised the children to obey their parents in the Lord. In honoring our parents, we know that Jesus taught in order to follow Him, we have to love our parents less by comparison. Paul shows how the fifth commandment, to honor one’s parents is the first commandment with a promise, of long life. Paul then counters that parents are not to provoke children to anger. Children who grow up angry at their parents for any reason are much less likely to honor their parents later in life. Parents are to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. As a society we understand nurturing. We tend to think of moms being more nurturing, and fathers need to also be nurturing to their children. The Greek word for admonition is Strong’s Greek word 3559, nouthesia, and it means call attention to, or a mild rebuke. At work when a supervisor calls attention to or gives a mild rebuke to an employee, it does not result in termination. Within the churches of God, somehow we have come to think of admonition as being a severe and very significant consequence. That’s not what an admonition is. Parents who severely punish their child when what is needed is nurturing and admonition, again calling attention to or giving mild rebuke, will provoke their children to anger. To the Romans Paul wrote that we are to give honor to whom honor is due, and this includes honor to parents.

Romans 13:7
Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.

As we give honor to our parents, our focus in giving honor is done to give glory to God so that all may be saved.

1 Corinthians 10:31-33
Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. Give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God: Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.

As a church, we focus on the needs of the church, including the people of the church. Some of the church are there to feed the flock and others are there to learn. It makes no difference who we are, we are all to submit one to another through humility.

1 Peter 5:1-5
The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed: Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away. Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

The story of Jesus at age twelve gives us an example of how to obey parents in the Lord. With this story, Jesus went up with his parents to Jerusalem for Passover and when returning home, Jesus became separated from his parents, and when he was found, he was in the temple. From the story it is easy to see that Jesus had a different take on this experience from His parents who were worried sick. Jesus was focused on God the Father and His Kingdom. Because we know there was no sin with Jesus, we know in this story, even though there was a difference of opinion, Jesus did not sin. In this story, even though His parents were worried sick, Jesus honored his parents while serving God.

Luke 2:41-52
Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the Passover. And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast. And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it. But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day’s journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance. And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him. And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions. And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers. And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? Behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing. And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? Wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business? And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them. And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.

Solomon gave us many proverbs that we can use to honor our parents.

Proverbs 1:8-9
My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.

The Hebrew word for chains in verse nine is Strong’s 6060 anaq, and it means necklace. Parents acting in the best interest of their children adorn their children for success as adults. In another proverb, we are advised that what we learn from our parents should be part of every moment in our life.

Proverbs 6:20-23
My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:

There is never an occasion to curse parents. We may disagree with them and we may love them less by comparison than Jesus Christ and God the Father, and we will never curse our parents.

Proverbs 20:20
Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.

In our life we are to retain what we have been taught since childhood never despising our parents when they age. New ways of thinking may develop in life and these do not invalidate the love and concern parents had for us when we were children. Instead of focusing on the nuances of society with twists and turns of understanding, as we seek first the Kingdom of God and God’s righteousness, we will position ourselves so that our parents will find honor in who we have become as adults.

Proverbs 23:22-25
Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old. Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.

It may be common for there to be friction between generations, and yet there is never a reason for one generation to curse its parents. Children who belittle their parents do so because they have an inflated self-image.

Proverbs 30:11-14
There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother. There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up. There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.

In the Book of Micah, there is a prophesy of a time when the son dishonors the father, the daughter dishonors the mother and the younger generation is set at odds against the older generation. The prophesy is not a prophesy about a happy time, but a sad and frightening time.

Micah 7:1-6
Woe is me! for I am as when they have gathered the summer fruits, as the grapegleanings of the vintage: there is no cluster to eat: my soul desired the firstripe fruit. The good man is perished out of the earth: and there is none upright among men: they all lie in wait for blood; they hunt every man his brother with a net. That they may do evil with both hands earnestly, the prince asketh, and the judge asketh for a reward; and the great man, he uttereth his mischievous desire: so they wrap it up. The best of them is as a brier: the most upright is sharper than a thorn hedge: the day of thy watchmen and thy visitation cometh; now shall be their perplexity. Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. For the son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother, the daughter in law against her mother in law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house.

The relationship between parents and children is so important that without it, there is a curse. The Book of Malachi shows a vision of a time when there is an absolute need to establish rapport and love between generations, and without this rapport and love, a curse will come upon mankind.

Malachi 4:4-6
Remember ye the law of Moses my servant, which I commanded unto him in Horeb for all Israel, with the statutes and judgments. Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

In honoring our parents, we cannot hide behind religion. Faith should empower us to honor our parents and never give us an excuse not to honor our parents. We need to be mindful in our worship of God that we do become entrapped in the traditions of man which seem religious, and are in reality far from faith. There is no religious edict that gives us permission to dishonor our parents, and even with God the standard is to love and honor God more than we love and honor our parents.

Mark 7:1-10
Then came together unto him the Pharisees, and certain of the scribes, which came from Jerusalem. And when they saw some of his disciples eat bread with defiled, that is to say, with unwashen, hands, they found fault. For the Pharisees, and all the Jews, except they wash their hands oft, eat not, holding the tradition of the elders. And when they come from the market, except they wash, they eat not. And many other things there be, which they have received to hold, as the washing of cups, and pots, brasen vessels, and of tables. Then the Pharisees and scribes asked him, Why walk not thy disciples according to the tradition of the elders, but eat bread with unwashen hands? He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do. And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition. For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death:

Another subtle way children can bring dishonor to parents is by exacerbating challenges between them and other children. For instance, if we lie to bring harm to a brother or sister, that lie can bring dishonor to the parents.

Psalm 50:16-20
But unto the wicked God saith, What hast thou to do to declare my statutes, or that thou shouldest take my covenant in thy mouth? Seeing thou hatest instruction, and castest my words behind thee. When thou sawest a thief, then thou consentedst with him, and hast been partaker with adulterers. Thou givest thy mouth to evil, and thy tongue frameth deceit. Thou sittest and speakest against thy brother; thou slanderest thine own mother's son.

Most of us are familiar with the golden rule, do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Jesus shared that this summarized the teachings of the Bible. Sometimes overlooked in the teaching is the mention of parents knowing how to give good gifts to their children. The best gifts that a parent can give their child is when they act in the best interest of their child through love. Children will naturally focus their attention on the tangible gifts that they can show to their friends, but the best gifts a parent can give are those intangible gifts of acting in the best interest of their child through love. Jesus pointed out that even an evil parent can give a good gift to their child. It is God the Father who gives each of us incredibly great gifts when we ask him.

Matthew 7:1-12
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

Honoring parents is the first commandment with promise. As we honor our parents by keeping the fifth commandment we also honor God. There is never a reason to bring dishonor to our parents in words or deeds, and while the words we choose are vitally important, it is through our deeds, by what we do, that we show honor to parents for all to see.

We are to remember the words of the commandment, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”

We are to remember to obey our parents in the Lord as Paul shows us when he wrote, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

We are to remember that faith empowers us to honor our parents and never gives a reason to dishonor our parents.

We are to honor our parents.

All verses are from the King James Version.
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